Series 1: The End

"Right, that's it! Lister, D. Third technician. Offence: Obstructing a superior technician by humming, clicking and being quiet."

"Had there been a crisis situation, Lister, I would've had to have performed my duties hopping! Clearly putting the ship in danger, clearly therefore mutiny. However, I am not a vindictive man, and I do not intend to apply for the death penalty."

"You touch that guitar, Lister, I'll remove the E-string and garotte you with it."

"Lister, you've got the brain of a cheese sandwich. 'Morning farmer Lister, I'm just poppin' down the shops in my submarine, can I buy you anything?'"

"Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans."

"Never again will I be able to brush a rose against my cheek, cradle a laughing child, or interfere with a woman, sexually."

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