Series 3: Polymorph
"God, we were close. The four musketeers, we used to call ourselves. Well, the three musketeers, actually. They always let me be the queen of Spain."
"Well, I can't say I'm totally shocked. You'll bonk anything, won't you Lister?"
"As far as I can see it, we have two options: One, we take it on and kill it; or Two, run away. Who's for Two?"
"What about the Rimmer Directive, which states, 'Never tangle with anything with more teeth than the entire Osmond family'?"
"The time for talking is over. Now call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit it hard, and we hit it fast, with a major, and I mean major, leaflet campaign."
"Look, just because it's an armour-plated alien killing machine that salivates unspeakable slobber doesn't mean it's a bad person. What we've got to do is get it round a table and put together a solution package - perhaps over tea and biscuits."